Torn

For 6 years CJ and I have been members of our church. Even when we moved to Birmingham, AL we never moved our membership from Mt. Pleasant because we hoped God would bring us back- and He did! We were so ecstatic and could not wait to become a part of our church family once again. We did and it was awesome! We were even more excited when satellite campuses began and one was practically going to be in our back yard- yahoo! We believed in everything our church was doing. We loved their mission to do whatever it took to reach the lost and they do have the most phenomenal worship programs- hands down. We thought we would be a part of this fellowship for a long time. Little did we know things would slightly begin to unravel.

I have a Bible degree. I am not bragging- not by any means. Instead, I am humbled by how much I do not know. But as good as it sounds, at times it can become a stumbling block. You know the saying ignorance is bliss- it's true. But ignorant is NOT how God calls His people to live for Him. On the contrary, we are called to worship in spirit and truth. Sadly, our church generation usually lacks one or the other. Not my beloved church. Yes, sadly, even mine. I fear they are moving farther and farther away from the truth of the cross. In order to keep in step with doing whatever it takes to seek the lost, they have watered down the gospel. Biblical theology is traded for what will keep the masses entertained. I am heart-broken. My stand is this: I believe the church building is for the believers and the church body is for the lost. Why else did Jesus say, "GO and make disciples..." (all caps mine)? He did not say, "Stay here and have them come to you so you can make them disciples. Believers as the body are to go out and share the good news- God loves you and sent His son to die for you- yeah, you. We aren't called to judge or convict the unbelieving generation. However, we are to hold believers to a completely different standard, but that is another blog entry.

Although I have had some major theology issues with my beloved fellowship in the past as well as some serious accountability and leadership issues, I have set them aside- until this past Sunday. I am not nearly as outspoken about these issues as I once was. Much of that has to do with the fact I have a believing husband and look to him to make outward statements. I did, in fact, go to him after the sermon (and a little during the sermon) pointing out what was WAY OFF. It grieved my spirit to know a major teaching pastor of ours taught Jesus "took off" his God-suit during the 40 days of temptation (the correction would be he was temped after 40 days and HE CAN'T TAKE OFF HIS DEITY ) and making the statement that he needed to be tempted so he could relate fully to us. Negative. God DOES NOT NEED US!!!! He wants us even after we are born so vile. One of the most beautiful love stories in scripture is the book of Hosea. It speaks of how God desires a relationship with us after we have betrayed Him so willingly and often. The core of the matter is, the sermon demoted Jesus's god-hood and thus downplays the cross. I am not saying this is what the pastor intended to convey. He may or may not. My sadness comes from the fact he would not take the time to expound.

Sadly, this is not the first time we have had theological differences with our beloved fellowship. We have stayed because of my husband's devotion to the youth group. He understands abandonment more than I wish he did and felt the need to stay after the youth pastor had a forced resignation. When the youth pastor left, he really left and didn't turn back. Many kids felt "left" because although he stayed within the "organization" they were no longer on his radar and several of them were heartbroken. CJ's heart hurt for them as well and wanted to make sure they knew they were loved and wanted. We still go back and visit even though we haven't lived there in six months. But, it has become evident God is calling us elsewhere.

I still believe in the work this church is doing outside of its walls; but I have been disillusioned with what was going on inside. I am not angry and admit I have not contacted this pastor for any clarification. I don't feel comfortable doing that because of the way the leadership is organized. Besides that, I don't come across very diplomatic in email. I try to type lovingly, but the reader ALWAYS misinterprets my intent. Besides that, I think my meanderings would be like a drop in the bucket.

So, now I am torn. We know we must venture out, but we don't know where. I grew up southern baptist and have no desire to go back and CJ didn't grow up at all in church. And did I mention the worship time? Hmmmmmm, so sweet. Guess I'll be breaking out my CD's.